


"My One and Only Cupcake."

by luke_is_a_kirby



Series: 5 Seconds of Summer One Shots [3]
Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band)
Genre: Anxiety Attacks, Cuddles, Cupcakes, Cute, Established Relationship, Eventual Happy Ending, Fluff, Guilt, Ice Cream, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Insomnia, M/M, One Shot, Panic Attacks, Pillow & Blanket Forts, References to Depression, Sad, Self-Harm
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-31
Updated: 2016-01-31
Packaged: 2018-05-17 08:19:40
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,643
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5861233
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/luke_is_a_kirby/pseuds/luke_is_a_kirby
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He looked at me, concerned, “Is Luke okay?”</p><p>I shook my head, shuffling from foot to foot, “No . . . it’s getting worse, the hate, his attacks, Luke. If this keeps up, I don’t even want to think about it.”</p><p>The two of us stood quietly, not looking each other in the eye, but we were both thinking of the same thing. The past and Luke. “It’s not going to happen again. It can’t.”</p><p>I pulled Calum into a hug as his voice wavered, trying to convince him more than me. He buried himself into my arms crying out ‘He can’t’. I shook my head, trying to believe what Calum was saying, but in reality, we both really knew nothing.</p><p>“We don’t know Cal, we don’t know.”</p><p>~~<br/>Or where Luke falls deep into a hole of anxiety and depression and Michael's the only one who can save him. Chessy Ending. Eventual Happy Ending.</p>
            </blockquote>





	"My One and Only Cupcake."

**Author's Note:**

> I need to think of new titles for these one shots, you guys have no idea how hard it was to even get a name out of this before I had to keep writing to include the title in. Muke is my second last ship shipped, and I don't know why. I'm always between Malum and Cake, I'm sorry Ashton, but I still love you! This is my last prewritten one shot, I really liked it because it had somewhat more of a plot than my other works. Did anyone see their Snapchat today?? I swear to god they are too adorable. Hope this doesn't disappoint you!

Luke’s P.O.V.

I curled into the coolness of the bathtub, fighting to breathe. I gasped, clawing at my neck, in failed attempts. My vision started to blur as I stared ahead of me at the mirror. I brought my hand up to touch my face, body still shaking for breathe. I covered my mouth, once hearing a strangled cry and realized it was mine’s.

I slumped against the tub feeling light-headed from lack of oxygen. I heard heavy footsteps climb up the stairs and shuffled past my door. I stayed quiet, in hopes of not being found, but much to my dismay, they called out for me.

“Luke, where are you?” I tried holding in my breaths, but it was useless as I fell into a coughing fit. I heard rushed movements before hearing his voice again, “Luke, are you okay?”

I tried my best to reassure Michael, but as hard as I tried, no words came out. Only harsh coughs that shook throughout my whole body. “Luke, I’m coming in.”

I couldn’t even say anything as the door was slammed against the wall, the lock falling to the ground, broken, “Oh god, Luke.”

I whimpered and just curled into myself a little more. He said nothing afterwards and instead picked me up from my fetal position and brought me gently to my bed. He sat down with me in his lap as he rubbed his hand up and down my back while the other wrapped around my waist to keep me in place. I closed my eyes, struggling to stay awake now that I could take in oxygen and slouched into Michael’s arms a little more as he whispered sweet nothings into my ear about how I was perfect the way I was.

Michael’s P.O.V.

I couldn’t help but look at the younger boy in my arms sadly. His insecurity levels were so low and the hate wasn’t helping, especially how they targeted him on his off days. I kissed the top of his head softly before tucking him under the covers and turning off the lights on the way out. I closed the door gently and turned around, jumping as I run into Calum.

He looked at me, concerned, “Is Luke okay?”

I shook my head, shuffling from foot to foot, “No . . . it’s getting worse, the hate, his attacks, Luke. If this keeps up, I don’t even want to think about it.”

The two of us stood quietly, not looking each other in the eye, but we were both thinking of the same thing. The past and Luke. “It’s not going to happen again. It can’t.”

I pulled Calum into a hug as his voice wavered, trying to convince him more than me. He buried himself into my arms crying out ‘He can’t’. I shook my head, trying to believe what Calum was saying, but in reality, we both really knew nothing.

“We don’t know Cal, we don’t know.”

~~xXx~xXx~~

I unlocked the door, seeing the lights in the living room on and cautiously followed the stream of light. I held my breath, seeing a lump on the couch and carefully walked forward. I pulled off the blankets, sighing in relief at Luke’s face before frowning when I realized he’d been crying. I shook him awake even though I knew he’d been having trouble sleeping and watched as he let out a strangled cry, as if he was having a nightmare.

“Shh, Luke. It’s me Mikey. It’s just a nightmare. Come on Lukey, wake up, come back to me.” I kept shaking him as he moved around, throwing his arms in front of his face as if he was trying to protect himself. I was getting more worried by the second as he continued thrashing around crying out for help.

I bit my lip, not knowing how to wake him up from his slumber and finally pulled him into my lap and rubbed his back, trailing my hand from the back of his neck to his tailbone. He started to quiet down, letting out a whimper here and there as I rocked him back and forth gently before he stopped all together and was gripping my shirt. I stroked his whitened knuckles from the death grip they had on my shirt as he slowly relaxed and fell back into my arms.

I said nothing and continued to keep my arms around him until I felt small breaths against my neck and deemed him asleep. I sighed quietly, taking in his features, he looked so young, so innocent, as if he wasn’t having any troubles at all, but I knew it was far from the truth.

I stood up with Luke in my arms and went up to my room before placing him down on my bed and left to change. I pulled out a pair of joggers and proceeded to kick off my pants when I heard a sharp cry.

I jumped before rushing to Luke since nobody else was home, most likely at a party seeing it was half past midnight. Luke was letting out small cries, his hands making grabby motions like he was looking for someone. I quickly stepped into range and watched as he latched his arms onto my own and clung to it as if his life depended on it. I realized that if I left again, all he would do was cry for me and decided to just kick off my pants as fast as I could with one arm before prying his hands away from my arm.

He whined at the lost yet quickly quieted down when I slipped into the bed beside him and pulled him close. He shuffled around before falling back to sleep shortly with his head on my chest and arm around his waist. I said nothing and pulled the covers over us and started to drift off, my worry for Luke beginning to eat at my mind.

~~xXx~xXx~~

I woke up to Luke’s presence gone and cuddled into a pillow. I sighed, rubbing the sleep out of my eyes while also trying to ease my mind that Luke was fine. I finally gave up, not being able to stay in my bed forever and left in search of Luke. And much to my pleasure, he was in the kitchen, nibbling on a piece of toast layered with vegemite.

“Good morning, Lukey,” I muttered, hiding my relief as I made myself some cereal. He gave me a small smile, coming over to sit in my lap once I sat down, cuddling into my chest once he finished his toast.

We sat in complete silence as I ate my cereal, casually scrolling through my phone with Luke in my lap occasionally clenching his fists into my shirt, watching me. I finally pushed my phone away and pulled Luke’s hands off my shirt, holding them in my hands, worried, “Are you okay, Luke? What were you doing up yesterday anyways?”

He shrugged and pulled his hands away from mine’s wringing them together and playing with his fingers. I pulled them back into my hands, looking him in the eye and repeating the same words. His eyes watered slightly as he opened his mouth and closed it back up, repeating the same gesture, looking like a fish. He pushed his face back into the crook of my neck, tears streaming down and wetting my shirt.

“Hey, I’m not mad, okay. I just want to know, Luke.” He nodded, pulling back from my neck as I wiped his tears away.

“I-I couldn’t sleep,” His voice was so small I had to lean in to hear him. “I had a nightmare and you guys had left me because I wasn’t good enough. . . And when I woke up, you guys weren’t home and I was scared and didn’t want to go back to sleep. I’m sorry.”

He trailed off, looking down and playing with my fingers. I lifted his chin up to meet my eyes before replying, “You have nothing to be sorry for and just know, we won’t ever leave you, even if it meant risking our lives for you. Is your insomnia coming back?”

He shrugged, replying he didn’t know and curled back into my arms. I sighed, realizing I wasn’t going to get an anything else out of him and brought him back to bed once I put my finished bowl in the sink. I placed him in my bed and left another kiss on his forehead before leaving to find the other two who should be up by now, considering it was two in the afternoon. Why I had breakfast during lunch I had no idea, but pushed the thought aside once I spotted Ashton on the couch.

“Ash,” He looked up and nodded to signal he was listening. “Luke’s insomnia is acting up again. So are his anxiety attacks.” He sat up at once and patted the seat beside him waiting impatiently.

“What do you mean?” I bit the inside of my cheek and looked down at my hands.

“The other day I came back home to find Luke having an attack in the bathroom and a couple of days after that, I came back late from a friend’s house to find him asleep on the couch because he had a nightmare a little earlier about losing us and then had another, but about us leaving him.”

Neither of us said anything after I confessed, jumping when I heard Calum. “We have to get him checked out. For the nightmares and anxiety attacks. Remember what happened last time when we didn’t?” I squeezed my eyes shut, remembering the day like it was yesterday.

The four of us we in the middle of practicing a song for our next YouTube cover when Luke collapsed. He was admitted into a hospital and that was where we found out he was diagnosed with insomnia, his parents and brothers knew, but they didn’t think to tell us because he hadn’t relapsed. But he did and it was unknown to their knowledge. Luke had been skipping meals and losing so much sleep that his body shut down. Then sometime after he was released and back home, he had stumbled upon some hate comments and it was directly prior to his bullied days. He fell into a harsh attack and was readmitted into the hospital where they had confirmed he had anxiety as well.

It was a shit month for us as we tried to get Luke back up to par, but apparently the bumps were too rough and he had relapsed again. The next months after that were hell for Luke, his family, and us. We were constantly looking out for him that it got to the point where he blew.

He had tried to kill himself. Lucky for us, Calum was the one who found him before it was too late, but it was a different story for Luke.

I rested my head between my hands, not wanting to think of the inedible. It was bound to happen sooner or later, we just were hoping for a different path. The three of us said nothing, before I stood up to check on Luke. I walked upstairs, taking my time. I stood in front of my door and pressed my ear, listening for anything before turning the knob, wincing as it squeaked.

I walked up to my bed, eyebrows furrowing in confusion when I noticed it was devoid of Luke. I looked around, trying to figure out where he went and decided to go to his room. I pushed the door open as it was ajar and saw light coming out from under his bathroom door. I held my breath, hoping for the best and grabbed the knob.

It was locked and that had me panicking, I knocked on the door three times harshly waiting for Luke to answer, “Luke?”

I leant against the door, biting my lip and shuffling from foot to foot before trying again, “Luke, it’s Michael. Come, open up.”

I was met with silence and that worried me. I counted to ten in my head before I kicked the door open. My eyes widened as I gasped and covered my mouth. I felt sick at the sight of blood, continuously pouring out of Luke’s wrist.

My voice shook as I called out to the other boys as I rushed to Luke’s side. I placed my hand against the untouched skin on his wrist and held my breath, feeling for a pulse. Tears started to spring from my eyes when I realized I couldn’t find one and started panicking. Calum sat down by me, holding a towel in his hands as he tried to stop the blood while Ashton stood in the doorway calling 911. He crouched down beside us and we all sat around Luke, holding each other close.

The rest of the day was a blur as the paramedics took Luke and Ashton drove us to the hospital while we called Liz.

I was pacing back and forth, running a line through the ground until Ashton pulled me into his lap while Calum scooted a little closer to us. I closed my eyes, head pounding from this entire mess before falling asleep.

~~xXx~xXx~~

“Mikey, Michael. Wake up. Luke’s awake.” I jolted up at those words and opened my eyes to meet Calum’s. They were ringed red as if he’d been crying and the dark circles under his eyes were very prominent.

I sat up, rubbing the sleep from my eyes before taking Calum’s outstretched hand as we walked to the elevator. We stood in silence, drifting closer into each other until we were both embracing the other, our emotions flying all over the place. We never thought this would happen again, but it had and we had no clue as to how to deal with it.

The elevator opened and the two of us stepped out together with our arms around each other, walking up to Luke’s door. Calum made no move to push it open so I took it to myself to turn the knob.

My mood dropped even though it was already so low because of this mess, seeing Luke lying in the hospital bed, pale, thin, and weak. I walked up to his bed slowly to see him looking down at his hands before looking back up to me and flashing me a small smile.

I wrapped my arms around his fragile waist and rested my head in his hair, breathing in his scent.

“Fuck, you’re okay,” I murmured to reassure myself and squeezed Luke’s petite waist gently. He looked up at me ashamed before dropping his gaze. My eyes fluttered shut as I remembered what happened last time this happened where I had made him promise me that he would come to me if it nearly got to this point.

“I’m not disappointed Luke, in fact I’m so mad at myself. I’m angry that I couldn’t see this was killing you from the inside. I should’ve known.” I sniffled, tears rimming my eyes and buried my face into his hair as he stayed in my arms.

I finally let go and stepped back so everybody else could have a turn, seeing both his parents and brothers, and the boys scattered around. I dropped myself into a chair beside Luke’s bed and slumped down into it, hands running down my face.

How couldn’t I see it? How come I didn’t see it hurt him? Kill him from the inside out. I shook my head, vowing to keep a closer eye on Luke as the doctor came in to check his vitals.

~~xXx~xXx~~

It’s been nearly two weeks since Luke was released and everybody was skirting around Luke and what had happened along with the fans. Although the hate had increased, claiming he was just looking for attention, there was so much more positivity and we couldn’t be more thankful.

I walked into Luke’s room to see him watching reruns of SpongeBob and sat down by his feet on the bed. “Hey Lukey.”

He smiled and replied back, “Hi Mikey.”

The two of us sat and watch the show before I spoke up, “Do you want to go out? We can get ice cream or something. It’s not good to be cooped up in here for a long time.”

He nodded enthusiastically and pushed his laptop away and clambered off his bed. I smiled, shaking my head at his antics and watched as he threw articles of clothes around before coming out from the bathroom with a skip in his step.

“Let’s go.”

~~xXx~xXx~~

I held a vanilla cone in one hand, the other laced with Luke’s free hand as we swung them back and forth, crossing the road to reach the park.

“Thanks Mikey, I don’t know what I would do without you.” I grinned and joked around with him, feeling happy he was smiling again.

“Probably watch SpongeBob from season 1 again.” He rolled his eyes and gently bumped hips with me. I grinned and pulled him onto the path that led throughout the whole park as we began following it, making conversation here and there.

“Oh my gosh, Luke and Michael?!?” Luke froze, not knowing how to react as I spun him back around and greeted the fan. We smiled and made small talk, Luke keeping quiet and only saying ‘Hi’ to her before she left with pictures and a smile on her face.

Luke was frowning as we walked back to his place and I bumped hips with him again after finishing my cone. “What’s wrong, Luke?”

He shrugged, “I don’t know. I just found it weird when she didn’t acknowledge the fact that I had tried to kill myself.”

I flinched at his blunt words and responded. “That’s why they’re our fans Lukey, they support us and love us for who we are. And they know that it’s a sensitive topic right now. Come on, I think your mum’s calling for you.”

~~xXx~xXx~`

I flopped onto Luke’s bed as he showered and rolled around to get comfortable before giving up. I pushed myself up, a smile appearing on my face as I came up with a great idea since his parents had went out to a friend’s house for the night.

I rushed around the house, grabbing every pillow and blanket I saw before tracing back to the living room and started stacking the pillows and draping the blankets around the whole mound. I walked back to the kitchen in search of snacks and quickly rushed back with enough food to last us the night when I heard the shower turn off. 

I grabbed the remote beside me and started surfing through Netflix before settling on The Maze Runner: Scorch Trials just because I knew Luke had been wanting to watch it for a while and fell back into the sea of blankets and pillows, picking my head up when I heard footsteps approaching.

“Mikey?” I made a sound and watched as he climbed into the fort and was grinning. “You built a blanket fort.”

I hummed and pulled him into my arms and laid back with him. “Thanks for this. I know I’ve been a shit boyfriend these past couple of months and-“

I cut him off with a kiss and pulled him closer to me and biting at his bottom lip, playing with his lip ring.

“It’s fine, I know what you’re going through is hard.” He pulled away, breathless as I continued peppering kisses down the column of his neck and smirked against his neck when I bit down on his sweet spot, eliciting a moan from him.

“Michael,” He threw his head back before grabbing my hair and pulling me back up to connect our lips. I lowered my body over his, as we continued kissing until Luke pulled away much to my displeasure.

“I just want to cuddle, if it’s okay.” I rolled my eyes, but wrapped my arms around him nevertheless. I hummed as he snuggled a little closer and pecked his lips softly.

“I love you Michael.” I smiled and gave him another short kiss.

“I love you too.”

He grinned and cuddled back into me as he trained his eyes on the screen, eyes dropping from exhaustion. I closed my eyes feeling content with my boyfriend in my arms as he ripped open a cupcake. I watched as he happily munched on it, eyes trained on the movie before I quickly stole a kiss from him and a bite of his cupcake.

“Mikey!” He cried, swatting at my arm around his waist. “That was my cupcake.”

“Well there’s this thing called sharing,” He rolled his eyes at me and shuffled away from me.  
“Yeah, and there’s a thing called more cupcakes.”

I shrugged, “Well, I don’t want any cupcake. I just want my Cupcake.”

He sat up, facing me leaving the discarded cupcake in its wrapper. “What’s your cupcake?”

“This one,” I stated and placed a chaste kiss on his lips, tasting the chocolate flavored cupcake before pulling back and scarfing down the rest of Luke’s remaining cupcake.

“Mikey!” He whined and smacked me harder, but I just grinned and kissed him again. “Ugh, I hate you.”

“And I love you, Cupcake.” He huffed at me as I pulled him back to my chest and kissed his nose lovingly. “My one and only Cupcake.”

“You’re so cheesy,” I grinned, not denying it and kiss his cheek.

“Only for you, my and only Cupcake.” I reconnected our lips before settling back into the nest of pillows and snuggling into my warm boyfriend who had already ripped open a new cupcake and taking a bite out of it.

**Author's Note:**

> Fun Fact: This is my longest one shot so far. I know, the ending sucked, or was weird, but I didn't know how to end it. I hope you guys liked it and ya'll should follow me on Twitter @infinitelyxtori. I'm making so much more progress on this site than on any of my other accounts, I have a Luke Hemmings Doppelgänger Fanfic that I plan on posting on this site so stay tuned.
> 
> Till Next Time! xXx


End file.
